I got pretty vulnerable this week.
And perhaps unlike times before when I've stepped out of my comfort zone, this time I tried to be really intentional about accepting the discomfort of being vulnerable while noticing my reactions, responses and overall feelings. Sorta like a mini science experiment!
Here’s the play by play of what went down:
What exactly caused this vulnerability experiment? Well, I launched my first EVER radio show, Relationships 101 on KKVM The Mile. Holy moly! I did not see this opportunity coming. This wasn’t strategic. This wasn’t pre-planned. Just one of those gifts from the Universe telling me to go do THIS. So I jumped on that opportunity train as it passed by! That’s one thing I’ve learned to be darn good at… is stepping up and going for that rare opportunity BEFORE I over think it. I’ve learned to really trust my gut instinct!
Essentially, I had zero idea what I was doing. I’ve never sat in a radio station before let alone directed and hosted a show. But the fire in my belly told me I HAD to do this and that, well, I’d figure it out some how.
That’s the truth about taking risks:
You don’t need to have the exact plan or all the answers. What you need is commitment to finding those answers along the way.
I started to take action. I asked for tips from the radio guys. I listened intently to other podcasts. I picked radio voices I liked. And I practiced. I talked out loud to myself practicing interview questions, introductions, commercial breaks, and all sorts of content.
My first interview and recording, I was definitely nervous! I started dreading what I might sound like over the radio. I imagined a monotoned-nasal-monster being projected over the air waves! EEK!
I basically began to beat myself up…thinking the worst and imagining the worst. The worst being... failure.
I heard the criticisms telling me all about how my mid-western accent sounds, an accent that I’ve usually embraced as being authentic and even endearing (Oh don’t cha know!). I began to dislike it and practiced saying my vowels differently, thinking I’d sound ‘better” or “more professional.”
And then, THANKFULLY, I stopped myself.
Dead. In. My. Tracks.
WTF (empasis on the F) was I doing?!
I’ll tell you straight up what I was doing. I was trying to change ME for what I thought was acceptable and wanted. (Insert deep sigh here)
Old beliefs came up around not being good enough and needing to be better/different. I started striving rather than BE-ing me. That’s what happens with vulnerability. We get all sorts of raw and feel more naked than naked has ever felt before. And with this we have the potential to get tough and mean with ourselves, picking out the worst, judging, and trying so hard to be what we think others want us to be.
I switched gears, fast! I took a lot of deep breaths, and loved on myself. I embraced who I AM. I compassionately told myself that I’ll do the best I can and continue to grow in this awesome experience of hosting a rad radio show where I’m helping people have those great amazing relationships they deserve.
(you gotta hear the first show! Mid-western accent and all! )
When I sat down to listen to the full show streaming live for the first time, I was still my toughest critic and STILL sitting in vulnerability. I cringed a few times on how I said a word or my tendency to say “I love that!” probably one too many times. But I returned to that compassion, choosing to cheer me on rather than beat me up. I gave myself one HUGE high five for trying something SO new and jumping in. Cause that takes guts! And this is what I’m here to do. To live out the advice and guidance I give to my clients everyday. I’m committed to your greatness and so I need to commit to mine. We achieve greatness by daring to risk, loving ourselves, and flowing through any of the mistakes that happen along the way.
Vulnerability has the ability to be the best teacher and there is no path to greatness without risking being vulnerable.
Jump into it and Feel it for all its got.
If you want inside tips on how conflict can enhance your relationship listen to the show here.
Trying something new? Fear of vulnerability got you stuck?
My 5 tips to Harnessing Confidence
- Don’t reinvent the wheel: see how other’s have found success in what you’re trying. Borrow from their strategies and make them your own.
- Get Nerdy and Do Your Research: I listened to a variety of podcasts and googled what makes a great radio show. Part of confidence is having knowledge about what you’re doing.
- Identify Past Successes: when have you done something similar? what other experiences add to this new experience? When have you risked trying something new and you were successful? Trust that you can make this happen!
- Be Positive: stop the criticism and throw in encouragement. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with those who will be encouraging. And don’t be afraid to ask for support too!
- Flow and flexibility: If it’s your first time doing something, let go of perfect and embrace growth. You can not expect perfection since you've done this before! OH, ya, and you're human so perfection need not apply.
Remember the very first time you tossed a football? Jumped rope? Ice skated? Or even just colored?! You were probably all over the place, coloring all outside the lines. Each time you threw the ball or put those ice skates back on, you got a little better. Flow over the bumps and you’ll cruise along just fine!
I would LOVE to help cheer you on and give you guidance. Schedule a free conversation with me today! You got nothing to loose! If we work together, I guarantee to support you 100%.