Happiness can be so elusive. It’s hard to pinpoint what it is and where it comes from. We hear great sayings and words of wisdom that tell us to “search within” for the good stuff. But that gets so confusing when we really do gain a sense of happiness from external things, people, or experiences.
What’s up with this?! It’s like “Oh no, be careful! You shouldn’t feel “happy” because you bought a great new sweater!” EEK! Way to suck the joy and fun out of it!
And for those of you who know me or work with you KNOW how I feel about those “should statements.” Just stop SHOULD-ing all over yourself already!
That’s step one…to getting closer to real genuine HAPPINESS.
Here’s the deal. Happiness is no doubt about what is inside. AND it’s about our relationship with the outside. It’s not all one way or the other. It’s about connecting what's internal with what's external! When we're out of balance and lacking awareness that’s when happiness becomes very fleeting and we enter the realm of striving too much to harness what we think, maybe, might give us some sort of happiness. But we totally lack the confidence that we'll actually get it. Why? Because our viewpoint is likely clouded by “should-ing.”
What I should do…
What I should look like…
What I should say…
ENOUGH! It’s exhausting. I can sense how tired you are from trying to BE what you aren’t.
You’ll never ever experience the lovely whole hearted sense of total complete happiness without being YOU and
Pause here. And please re-read that last statement. I want it to soak in.
The key to awareness and balance is between head and heart. Too often these parts of ourselves are disconnected. It feels like we’re battling what's in our head vs our heart at times. Or we frankly shut one off!
In my experience, I tend to see that it’s usually the heart that gets shut off first. We’re told to be “logical” about life and we adapt this distrust for our heart’s unique and often intangible wisdom. When again, it’s when both head and heart are working beautifully together that we hit points of clarity. That’s how we feel the happiness bubble up inside and burst with joy! It's because we’re honoring our authentic and true self.
With head and heart we can become more fully aware of what we want and need, and then GO FOR IT. This is the sweet spot between our internal and external desires that fosters real happiness.
In order to get back into our hearts we need to slow down, be purposeful, and re-prioritize this connection.
Give yourself the
permission to trust your heart.
A simple exercise, is pausing for a moment throughout your busy day to intentionally breath a deeper breath, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and simply connect. Do this twice a day. I strongly recommend programming reminders into your phone so that you remember to this. When you need to make a big decision, mindfully connect your head with your heart to bring your awareness to this balance. You will feel more clarity, more at peace, more confident, and all this leads to greater HAPPINESS!
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