Three weeks ago, I took the plunge… And I got married! It was a beautiful weekend that created memories myself, now husband, family and friends will treasure. It took me over a week to not end up with happy tears as I thought of our special day. So much emotion!
Real love exists! And trust, me it exists for you too!
But don’t get me wrong. I sure have had my share of doubts. I’ve experience great heart break. I’ve felt the lonely depths of when love disappoints. And I questioned what love actually is vs the myth that’s shoved down our throats by Disney movies and false fairy tales.
“Why even get married any more?” A question I’ve been asked by clients, friends and even myself. It’s a completely valid question given our reasons and purpose for marriage have absolutely evolved and changed. I’ve personally searched deep for my own reasons and here are my top four. I would love to hear your thoughts! Leave a note and share with those you love.
TOP 4 REASONS TO GET HITCHED!
#4. Baby, we are born this way! We are hard wired to be in intimate, close, secure relationships. We are meant to emotionally depend on others (see a blog post all about this). I do my best to practice what I preach and teach couples every day. Yes, I too resisted this idea of emotional dependence after my own heartbreak. I locked up my heart and told myself all those things. “I don’t need a man! “I’m perfectly fine on my own (well… with my dogs of course.)” And you can ask my now husband how I tried so hard to lean on these OH SO FALSE ideas even during our engagement (insert sigh here). But his patience, kindness, and sometimes directness about my own BS showed me how I DESERVED to unlock my heart and experience REAL love. We can't survive without intimacy. And we can't truly grow without depending on others.
#3: Power of Ritual. I was an Anthropology major in college which basically means I studied why us humans essentially do what we do. Rituals are in every culture and they mark important rites of passage. Rituals are essential because they give meaning and definition to life’s many transitions. Rituals guide our hearts + minds through these transitions toward accepting new roles and expectations. Unifying two diverse individuals through marriage is to me one of the most sacred rituals. And is most deserving of a great ceremony. Whether you create your own rituals, follow a religion’s, or blend a little of both I believe we need to mark the importance of marriage with ceremony + celebration. I also believe we need to share this celebration given how hard wired we are to be in relationship and to share life’s experiences (#4).
#2. Soulful Commitment. I chose marriage because it is nothing short of a HUGE commitment – to myself, to my husband to-be, and to the family we hope to build. Please notice this aspect of CHOICE. This is not something I “should” do because I'm over 30 and need to lock it down. Or what I’m “suppose” to do as a woman. As I mentioned in #3, the ceremony of marriage is a sacred ritual defined by a commitment given to another being, soul, + heart. It is a choice to put their happiness and well-being at the same level of importance of your own. It is a choice to choose the relationship above all else. Whew… it’s no easy task that’s for sure! And this is why we need it to be Soulful. Purposeful. Mindful.
#1: LOVE + ADVENTURE. I have chosen to love whole heartedly and to willingly give my heart to my husband who absolutely deserves it, who has proven he can handle it with care. Being open to receiving the love he has for me has been a personal challenge. Remember how I locked up my heart (#1)? Ya... that doesn't make it too receptive to receiving love. Sometimes (especially for us women!) receiving love can be the hardest part… This is the part where we need tell ourselves and believe, “I can't just give love. I too DESERVE it!”
Love is a great adventure. It's unpredictable and at times brings uncertainty. Just like the adventures of climbing mountains or exploring unknown trails, endurance + commitment prevail and I believe the same is true when it comes to love.
I walked down the aisle to John Lennon’s Real Love, to purposefully reflect that real love is, well...REAL. If you want truthful guidance in finding a relationship that’s true and can last, schedule with me today!
No BS. No myths of perfection (‘cause sweetie, it doesn’t exist!). No falsehoods of becoming something you aren’t.
I give just straightforward honest direction toward embracing what you DESIRE and DESERVE.