Settling for Less

I need to ask you a tough, bold, question… Ready for it?

Why are you still settling for so much less than what you are worth and for less than what you deserve?

This isn’t an easy question to answer, I totally get that. But I believe it may be one of the most important questions to actually search deep and discover what is true for you. You’ll need to get soulful and actually confront some of the tough stuff you’ve been carrying with you, things you believe about yourself, your world and what you believe you deserve (or don’t deserve).

I hear the complaints about how work is awful, how levels of stress are through the roof and how disconnected (and often abusive) bosses or management are. I hear the reasons why people stay stuck in these jobs that plain out SUCK. Sucking the life out of them. Sucking the joy from their hearts and leaving them empty… even beyond empty. Like a dried up raisin baking in the sun even though there’s nothing left to give. I’m not exaggerating. I see it and hear it too often. I see the people I love excusing themselves to stay in situations that are robbing them from living a life they SO deserve.

It’s painful to watch.

It’s painful because I so get that struggle. I was once there. I was once the one suffering, complaining, and feeling trapped. I can still remember that deep dark place of being so unfulfilled.

I know all the justifications we give to stay and not change because we’re scared. Scared of the unknown and the questioning of “can it really be better?” Scared to risk it because there is no guarantee you’ll make it. I understand that we don’t change because it takes real wholehearted courage to stand up and claim what it is you REALLY want.

But I did get out. I did escape. And ran like hell in the other direction. I finally said “I will not settle ANYMORE.” Because I finally believed, “I am worth more.”

I’ve written previously about the power of fear and stuck-ness (check it out here) and there’s always more to say on this topic. It is too common of a struggle where we hide away and shy away from risking reaching for what could really fill our hearts and bring our lives so much beautiful joy.

We just get too caught up in the web of complaining, doing nothing, and numbing ourselves from the pain that is trying desperately to tell you, “YOU DESERVE MORE!”

See, fear limits our trust and without trust we can’t be vulnerable enough to take a risk. Even a calculated risk. You just aren’t able to access the trust in your heart and the belief that you can manifest a life that supports you and your unique purpose. A life that will give you want you know in your deepest core you want and that feels most true to you.

Fear convinces you that you’re asking too much, that you aren’t grateful for what you do have, that the pain isn’t that bad…

Fear whispers be careful. Don’t forget about that 401k and insurance. Oh and the free yoga classes… (that you never attend because god forbid your boss see you away from your desk!)

Fear tells you to stay small. Be quiet. Don’t stir the pot.

To face fear and reclaim your power takes guts. It takes courage and therefore requires a good chunk of vulnerability. Let me be clear. There isn’t ANYTHING easy about being vulnerable. It’s raw, naked, and exposed. This is why fear usually wins this fight. Because when we aren’t being purposeful and choosing to be conscious of what our real fear is, it stops us dead in our tracks.

Do me a favor. Fill in the blank below:

I am most of afraid of ___________________

Rejection? Failure? Disappointment? Criticism? 
What is true for YOU?

Here is the tough part. The part that requires you to muster up some courage and lean into being vulnerable… Who can you tell this fear to? Your partner? Your mom? A close friend? Your dog? A therapist?

Fear loses its power when we talk about it. When we share it with those we can trust most. Remember: it wants you to stay quiet and small. So the anecdote is to…Talk. About. It.

Share with those who have earned your trust. Those who have proven that they can show up for you, love you and withhold judgment or criticism. Treasure these special souls and hold them in your heart with great abundant gratitude. These are the people you need in your life. These are the special ones to keep close and rely on when fear kicks in and you need a way out. Tell these few people what you actually want from life and ask that they help remind you when you get off track. Start asking for you really need from these relationships.

So again: Why are you still settling for so much less than what you are worth and for less than what you deserve?

Begin to notice the fear and begin to give yourself the permission to STOP SETTLING.

Need some help answering this tough question? Or support to be able to stare fear in the face? I’m here for you 100%. Give me a call and let’s chat. I offer free 30 minute conversations where we can explore how I can best help.

Spread the word and share with someone who needs to hear this message!